Today morning, I was overjoyed to see my old college friend's number flashing on my mobile screen. From being partners-in crime, to being the best students of our batch, we shared a beautiful relationship during our intermediate days. Every sweet memory came flying back. However, as soon as I received the phone call, the nostalgic smile on my face vanished as I was shocked to hear her bitter sobs. What she confided in me next, shook me to the core and left me thunderstruck.
Post-marriage she had shifted abroad. She happened to be a devoted mother of a bubbly 6 year old daughter, a loving wife, a caring daughter-in-law, a doting mother, an obedient daughter, a vivacious sister-in-law, a high-performing employee, an ever cheerful friend and lots more. However, somehow over the past few months, the frenzied daily household chores and pressure at her office, had taken a toll on her. Aspiring to be an ideal super-woman seemed to be a distant dream for her. She had become petulant, fiery, irritable and short-tempered.
It was a harried hectic morning for her when she had loads of unfinished tasks - the laundry, cleaning, cooking for the family, working on an office assignment that was overdue for almost a fortnight now. To top it up her husband had mocked at her and fought with her over a domestic issue. While she was slogging at the kitchen, her mind brimming with ill-thoughts, with frustration, her little daughter came running up to her, pulled at her gown, seeking her love and attention. In a fit of rage, the mother pushed her away. Reprimanding the little girl, she shouted, "You are the cause of all my miseries. You are the biggest mistake of my life. It was better if you would have never been born. Go away!". These sharp words of her mother pierced the tender heart of the 6 year old. The mirror of her heart was shattered to thousands of pieces. Innocent as a bud, she could not bear to see her mother suffer due to her. She had never seen her mother in such a wild temper. Distraught, she cried bitterly and immediately climbed the stairs with her tiny feet, to their terrace. Her mind, her senses numb, she jumped off to a painful death wailing, "I'm sorry, mommy". When the mother heard a loud thud, her heart stopped. Fearing the worst she peeped out of her kitchen window. To her horror, with tear-filled eyes blurring her vision, she saw the apple of her eye lying motionless, in a pool of blood.
This appalling incident should be a lesson for each of us. How often have we thought to ourselves - I shouldn't have said that? How often do we feel regret over the words we shoot out of our mouths without giving a blink? How often do we feel the need to apologize for what we said to someone in a fit of rage? How many times have we indulged in idle gossip, careless criticism, backbiting or simply mundane talks? Our words can either create a stairway to heaven or they can throw us into the deepest wells of hell. Our words can either hurt or heal. Which path do we wish to choose?
"Let your speech always be soft, filled with kindness and compassion. Let your words be as sweet as nectar, so that the demons are put to shame and the Sages smile". These profoundly wise and deep words of my mother have been forever etched in my heart.
In our authoritative bonafide Vedic scripture, the Srimad Bhagavatam, Sage Maitreya teaches us the perfect kind of speech. He explains that our speech should be like the learned, wise Maharaja Prthu - it should be meaningful, appropriate, full of precise words and very sweet to hear.
Our words are like arrows. Once released from the bow of our lips, they cannot be reversed or taken back.
Let us meditate on the following five golden pointers on how to tame our tongue and leverage our power of speech.
WORDS (Wisdom, Optimistic, Reflect, Divine, Sacrifice)
W - Wisdom: God has blessed us with two ears and one mouth for a purpose; He wants us to listen more than we speak. Wisdom is when we open our minds before our mouths, when we elevate our words, not our voice. Flowers blossom in the soft showers and not in hailstorms.
O - Optimistic: Every negative word, mundane talk, destructive criticism, fault finding, is like the venomous bite of a python with poisonous fangs. They rapidly spread the poison both internally and externally, destroying our peace of mind and tranquility. On such steep roads, also, lurk the dangers of incurring bad karmas and the thorns of Vaishnava aparadh. Therefore, we must never speak in a way that agitates the minds of others.
R - Reflect: Before we utter any word, we need to hold back the reins of our senses, reflect & conduct the Five filter THINK-test. Is it True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind? Only when we receive an affirmative answer to these questions, we must go ahead and speak.
D - Divine: Our speech must resonate divinity. Parajalpa or gossip is the route to destruction of the tender seeds of devotion. Just as a croaking toad attracts death in form of snake, if we engage in prajalpa we invite our spiritual death. Our tongue should vibrate only to honour food offered to the Lord & only to engage in sacred talk. By transcendental discussions, one derives the highest benefit and elevates the human society.
S - Sacrifice: In Bhagavad Gita 17.15 Lord Krishna propounds Austerity of speech consists in speaking words that are truthful, pleasing, beneficial, and not agitating to others, and also in regularly reciting Vedic literature. Srila Rupa Gosvami in his 'Nectar of Instruction', states that a sober person is one who has control over his speech, mind, anger, tongue...By being more humble and tolerant, by being empathetic, we must sacrifice our inflated false ego, our own selfish desires, our lust, our pride and our anger.
Here is a story close to my heart which beautifully shows the profanity of our apt use of words.
There was once a wise sage who travelled far and wide. One day, as he was passing by a village, he was approached by a woman who begged him to cure her ailing son. She entreated him to help. So the sage came to the village and a crowd gathered around him, for such a learned man was a rare sight in their locality. The sick child was brought to him and he chanted the holy name. He then recited powerful prayers and Vedic mantras. Suddenly a man shouted out from the crowd, “Do you think your prayer will help him, when medicines have failed?” Looking sternly at the man, the sage retorted,“You have no knowledge. You are a foolish rascal!” The man became furious on hearing these words. Enraged, his face grew hot and red. He was about to react or perhaps strike out, when the sage walked over to him and said: “If one word has such great power to invoke your wrath and anger, can another word not have the power to calm and heal?”
The Srimad Bhagavatam testifies how 'Vidur' is a striking epitome of our guide to balanced speech. When he visited King Yudhishthira after the battle, he was asked about his well being. Being an exhalted soul, he weighed his words and spoke well about his pilgrimage to Dwarka without mentioning about the annhilation of the Yadu dynasty. He was wisdom personified, as he judged that such news would neither bring any happiness nor was it necessary nor would it be bearable. It would only cause intense grief and sorrow.
Just like after being hit with a sharp stone, a crack in the mirror can only be camouflaged but can never be mended completely, similarly a heart once broken with sword of words can never be healed entirely. The scars remain and continue to haunt the injured soul.Therefore, it is pertinent to exercise caution at every moment, by making a conscious effort to keep our emotions, thoughts and words in perfect harmony with the Divine; by redefining our character through the wisdom of our spiritual guides and by embarking on the righteous path to self-realisation as directed by the Supreme Being.
Article by:
Meghna Choudhury
(H.G. Mathura Vasi Devi Dasi)
Life Coach | Spiritual Counselor | Author
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***** Content Copyright: Meghna Choudhury (H.G. Mathura Vasi Devi Dasi) *****
One of the best articles read ever.awesome piece of work, please keep writing and keep us engrossed.Hare Krishna
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